Biden Considers Banning Vaccine to Persuade People to Get It

Joe Biden holding two thumbs up
Photograph by Saul Loeb / AFP / Getty

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a new plan designed to combat vaccine hesitancy, President Biden said that he was considering an executive order banning all COVID vaccines.

The order would make it illegal to obtain a vaccine except in certain cases and, even then, only after a thorough background check and waiting period.

“We must eliminate the scourge of vaccination once and for all,” Biden said. “Enough is enough.”

News of an impending vaccine ban sent lines at previously deserted vaccination centers snaking around the block, according to reports.

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene took to the floor of the House to excoriate the ban, calling it a “classic case of government overreach that shows the fingerprints of George Soros and the Rothschilds.”

“First, they came for my vaccines,” she warned.


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